So first things first....

THE JOB....yeah I work at a clothing store in the outlet mall here. paid 9 bucks an hour and no commission, *shrug* thats not the big deal for me. what is...is this. The newly re-enfourced dress code. either khaki pants or jeans fom the store brand...alright if they werent around 70 dollars a pair. then the shoes...either the brand shoes...or I get myself a pair of heals or fancy ballet flats...I wont do either of the three, the store brand costs around 100-80 bucks and then the other two choices dont offer enough support. im just thinking screw it, im leaving in about 2 1/2 weeks anyways.

so annoying though.


THE DATE....hmm what to say about this *swt*

went to have dinner with my aunt and cousin...of course I showed up late because i had to run some errands and didnt know they had left until I got home >.< and then they started telling me about how the server was really cute. yeah two older women telling me these things. hehehe so he serves me dinner...ack!! i forgot my leftovers!!! just realized...T_T well anyways, then my aunt is all, we're going to see spiderman 3 on thursday do you want to join us? she made me give him my number...and yeah, now I have a date!! really random and odd but I do. we'll see how this all plays out.

Akiko

I just gained the sweetest little family member!!

I was so lonely, and I know I do this all the time....but I got myself a black bear hamster!! I named her Giselle, after a famous ballet role. She has the sweetest, big ears and little stub tail! *Cuddles*

Im sorta annoyed though because I've weighed 126 for the past two weeks. what a bummer.

rock on everyone

`akiko

Long time no see peoples, just a small update.

Yes I'm alive.

I got into Nutmeg for the summer.

umm...well what is there to say? I have a sore throat but thats normal allergies.
Been trying to get by on just one job, rather difficult but what can you say, yeah?

Earlier today I waited in line for an oil change for my car for about 2 hours, and then the clerk didnt even give me all of my change.

eating sushi tonight, where I go regularly because the Korean sushi chef is very cute and always recognizes me and actually remembers things that I talk to him about compared to everyone else in my life,...he gave me a green tea ice cream on the house and told me i didnt need to worry about a tip.
I dont know what to think about that. he's so super cute, but I cant help but feel inadequate and very childish...I do like him a lot but how do I know if he was being just nice or is actually interrested. i'd hate to take it as more than it actually is...

yea thats about it.

Cheers Duckies

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I wanna make you happy...
But I've fallen
I'm sorry

OK so this is the skinny

audition was canceled today, because of weather. when I called to ask if they were rescheduling it, the receptionist told me, in basically not so plain words, just to fuc* off. well excuse me.

then I get a call for work and again, my hours have been dropped because of this snow.

I call my mom, thinking to get some sympathy, but all she does is tell me to be a grown up, that this is life...and she even told me that I NEEDED the extra time to prepare for my audition.

I don't understand why...i put effort in to keep my family relationship strong and they just totally blow me off....what is it? the fact that I moved away? thats some sick shit....fine then, you wanna isolate me and make me feel like the most worthless person on the planet, go right ahead. The truth of the matter is, i think my whole family is selfish, narrow minded, and wholly unseeing of who I am.

...its just...god is it so bad to want attention and love from those you depend on?
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on another point...i called, I sang happy birthday, i just want to know if you got it...do I have the right number?

nothing is going right.

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month long fast begins tomorrow. Im not going to let myself be weak any longer...its all people see when they look at me and im sick of it.

"I had a hole in my heart , So I threw away my plate , 'Cos nothing would fill me up, Whatever I ate"

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What's the point? honestly...if no one is going to care either way?


...god, I'm so freaking emo...then again, I don't really care either...huh...thats funny